Sayings of the Almighty

A choice selection of proverbs from The Book Of Sayings.
"Avast! Ye shall provide RED with honor and power forever! For it is through HIS will that all humans breathe.
The sweat of his armpits formed the first rivers, and the curls of his hair the first forests."
-Proverbial Verbs XVII, Chapter 1, Verse 1


"In HIS mighty absence, the GOD OF GODS decreed a church be built for his HONOR. This church shall be made in the spirit of worship. It's mighty pillars must stretch forth to reach out into the sky, and it's steps shall be countless. For only the fit and the athletic are allowed to worship HIM in HIS most holiest of temples."
- Istokaji I, Chapter 245, Verse 18

"I was in a good mood when I created Jessica Alba. Be thankful that I am just and kind. For if you anger me, I shall grant GMA ANOTHER TERM IN POWER. Woe, woe to you who shall anger me!"
- Proverbial Verbs III, Chapter 670, Verse 12

"I hate the poor. It is the job of ALL REDISTS to execute those who beg for your money."
- Continuum Transfunction, Chapter 80, Verse 322

"Money is the root of all my kindness. It shall be offered to me and my holiest preacher. An offering of gold and diamonds and other riches are a requirement for ALL REDISTS. Ye shall contribute just enough so that you can still live in luxury."
- The Fortune Of Red 500, Chapter 5, Verse 8


"Jenny is one of my preachers. He/She/It shall be respected."
-Yahoo! Messenger, Wednesday March 05,2008
-Fin-


As a note to all readers, please keep reverance when reading HIS most sacred texts.
When reading, please have a shirt on at least. And please, don't be grabbing yourself when you read. the GOD OF GODS does not like smelly hands.
However, if you are female and are at least moderately attractive, please take off ALL your clothes and turn your webcam on. And please, contact mR.m or plasticbagman for a FREE confession via webcam!*


All hail!








*Free confession requirements:
18-30, female.
Must be Moderately attractive. We will grade you.
85-130 pounds. Do not use "the camera adds 10 pounds" excuse. If thats the case then stop eating cameras.
Must be pleasant.
Must be flexible.
Must love dogs.
Must be kinky.
Must be discreet.